I don’t really remember all the details concerning Hank but there are a few noteworthy things. Let’s start with the first date.
Hank texted a lot. When it was confirmed that we would be going on a date he asked often about what I wanted to do. He suggested dinner and drinks initially and then as the day approached it turned into just drinks and then day of date he showed up with a bottle of wine. He swore the wine was something I had to taste before we left for the date. It was good and we finished the bottle in my kitchen.
At this point it was too late for dinner and he suggested we walk to the liquor store for a second bottle. This was never a date. That’s an attempt to get me boozed up on a dime.
That inward intuition was screaming from my guts but still I ignored it.
I asked, what happened to dinner and he said, “Well, if you still want to go so late,” with total annoyance in his voice. I settled for walking to my local bar instead.
Manifestation #7: I never feel like I’m settling
After a couple drinks I was ready to leave. Hank suggested one last drink at my place. I agreed. I don’t know, ya’ll he’s funny and I was laughing despite deep down knowing his intention.
So we stopped into the liquor store on our walk back and I grabbed a chilled bottle of the wine he insisted I taste at the beginning of the date. It was a bit more expensive than my typical vino and he grabbed a different, MUCH CHEAPER, bottle and said let’s try this. Apparently the good stuff was a one time thing.
Manifestation #8 I’m always worth the good stuff
We walked back to my house and I suggested we have our wine in my yard. It was a beautiful night and the fresh air felt nice. Reluctantly, Hank agreed. He wanted to go inside.
This is where things get weird. We’re talking and laughing. My feet are up in his lap. He’s rubbing them. And then he asks me if I’ve ever “done it” back there. I say no and he gets up, my legs dropping from his lap, and he unzips his pants.
Right there, through his fly, Hank whips out, Hank Jr.
He then takes two steps toward me while I’m still sitting so you can imagine where Jr. was in relation to my face, and f*king wags it at me.
I instantly have feelings of regret and felt my worthiness plummet. I know this is a Hank problem and not a Winona problem but why did I entertain this from jump street?! Why?!
Was this worth human contact? Was this worth some shmuck telling me I’m pretty? Did I really need to feel wanted so badly that I tolerated this behavior? The answer to that is yes. I suppose I did. Now, this is no longer a Hank problem. It’s 100% a Winona problem. I can’t continue to complain about the shit behavior of men if I’m sitting around tolerating it.
No, Jr. didn’t get any play that night. I did have enough self respect to tell him to put it away but it wasn’t the last time I saw him either (both Hank and Jr.) and that I will save for the next entry in this series.
Coming up next our remaining dates and how we ended it a few weeks later.