I was seeing Hank pretty consistently after that. Maybe 3 times a week and texting throughout the day every day. Still, he wasn’t inviting me out with his people and never inviting me to his apartment. We always ended up back at mine or starting there and never leaving.
A few more dull (but a little less lonely) weeks went by and I had a gyno appointment. They told me they didn’t like the looks of some cells on my cervix and would have to biopsy. I set the appointment for as soon as possible and had the procedure done. I told no one.
After the biopsy I felt alone. I hadn’t confided in anyone and now I had to wait for the results to determine if the cells were pre-cancerous or not. It’s a heavier load than I thought it would be and I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t want to talk about it but I def didn’t want to be alone either. I needed a change of scenery or something. Some comfort.
I decided to be bold and call Hank. I told him I wanted to see him that night and I was coming to him. I said it in such an off hand kind of way because it shouldn’t have been weird considering how our relationship was unfolding and he really had no opportunity to find an excuse.
Simply, I’m coming over to order food and watch a movie tonight. Just as he had done at my home many times.
I showed up at his place and we did just as we said, cuddled on the couch with his dog, ordered food and watched a movie. I still didn’t want to be alone so when he said, "you can sleep over if you want,” I asked for some clothes to change into and climbed into his bed.
When the petting got a little heavy I told him about the biopsy I had earlier in the day. I told him that because of it we couldn’t get frisky down there and he acted as if he understood. Didn’t ask me about details or show any concern for my well being. Just an acknowledgment that he couldn’t touch my cooch.
The next morning I woke up, changed out of his basketball shorts and walked out with him. He was walking the dog and I was walking to my car. It seemed weird. Idk why but it did.
Later that same day I hadn’t heard a word from Hank. So I texted him, “Is everything ok?” And his response was “LOL yeah, just real busy, lol” And i said, "Oh ok cause usually we talk more than this. Are you sure there’s nothing on your mind?" He reassured me all was well lol just busy lol And then I never heard from him again.
That’s it. The end. Fucking weird as f*ck.
I didn’t demand answers. I didn’t text again. I just let it go. What did annoy me was he didn’t just let me go the few weeks prior when I ended it the first time. Why the whole production at the Ale House. Why ask for another chance? Still a mystery to this day. But I will tell you one thing. He’s still watching. Every IG post, every story, every time. Bizarre.
Next entry I’ll tell you about what I learned about Hank after the fact and what I learned about myself going through it.